Friday, February 19, 2016
iloveyou always and forever
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
:(
i am too much disappointed in myself... i dnt knw what is wrong with me... and i dnt get it... why we have to fight because of him... grrr... maybe he is sumthn more important than me kaya inaaway mo na lang ako when i say sumthn wrong about u to him... bstfriends kayo db? i knw yer saying most of everything to him... even mga tampuhan natin.. i get it.. kya pala he acts differently when i am around errr... tpos sasabihin sakin ni mark sigurado ka bang wala alam si russel? err.. anyway wala ko magagawa sha person mo eh.. not me... kaya i get mad... if he is ur person.. fine.. il search for my own person.. oks?! what happened sa ur wife will be promoted as ur bstfriend when u finally got married? pero intindihan ko naman if you are uber attached to him.. i will not mind.. yan kayo eh... anyway i chose to be silent na muna... ayaw ko na muna makigulo senyo... :) enjoy! kasi habambuhay mo naman ako ksama.. pakasawa ka muna sa life without me.. okie?! :)
Sunday, January 24, 2016
my wedding vow
i know a lot of people don't believe in what we have... Even me i cannot believe that we have something like this already... To tell you honestly... There is still a part of me today that cannot believe that i am the one who gets to marry you... but with all these... I believe in you... the person you will grow to be and the couple we will be in the years to come... I feel truly blessed because i have found a love that transcends and grows despite our differences.. I am truly happy that at last i get to laugh and cry with you.. care for you and share with you.. i get to run and walk with you.. build with you and live with you... With all of my heart, i take you as my lifetime partner.. will accept all your faults (wag lang sana mashado madami haha) your strengths, as you do mine...
I promise to be loyal, faithful and supportive and to never fail to make our family's love and happiness my priority.. I will always be with you in sickness and in health.. in failure and success... I promise that we will dream together.. celebrate
together... and i will walk with you through wherever life brings us... i will be leaving in a few days... we will counts days again until we'll be together again... but after that time will come.. will never ever leave you again and will never ever let you walk alone.. we are in this journey together... I promise to be your navigator... consoler.. sidekick... bestfriend.. and your wife... finally i promise you myself... You will be my person... my love... my life... today.. tomorrow and for all the days of my life.. i love you always and forever :)
Monday, November 23, 2015
you first believed
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Sunday, November 15, 2015
Anticipating vs Expecting
what's the difference between anticipating and expecting??? dumdumdum
“Okay... uhm... I will pretend that it’s just you and me here... let’s both pretend that there’s nobody around. Just you and me - talking eye to eye...” Shellie finally gave in to Ronnie's bickering.
Ronnie looked around for a moment. Looked at his best friend’s eyes... talked with their souls. He looked at Edison, another friend and the three faces of strangers that they only met that day. Then, he looked at Shellie's eyes, another stranger that he wants to know deeper.
“Okay. Consider them gone.” Ronnie said after a while. Looking straight into Shellie's eyes, he blurted the awfully raw question that could possibly rip Shellie's heart. “Do you like my best friend?” so raw and intense, filled with honesty and straightforwardness.
Shellie nearly choked. She turned from pale white to red. She blushes easily. That has always been one of her problems. Even if a stranger would ask her the time, she would blush while saying the time. She gets nervous easily.
After taking a deep breath, she looked Ronnie in the eye and said, “Yes. Very much.”
Ronnie prevented himself from looking at his best friend’s eyes or at anyone for that matter. It was just he and Shellie. There’s nobody else around. The people surrounding them prevented from gasping or reacting as well. It was a breakthrough for Shellie. They all looked at the best friend though and they saw him looking at his shoe and kicking invisible dust.
Ronnie was on fire. He uttered the next question.
The ever-short question that can come with so many answers. “Why?”
shellie is sweating now. She doesn’t know how long she can ignore the fact that they may be staring at her. She’s torn between wanting to see Jared's reaction and being swallowed by sweet earth that moment. This wasn’t how she wanted it to be. She wanted it to be Jared's eyes that she’s looking in to when she answers the question. But she can’t.
“I dunno...” such stupid answer but it was all that Shellie could think of at that time, if she was thinking at all. It seemed that Shellie was letting her heart speak without the help of her mind.
“That’s not an answer...” Shellie could hear Edison whisper. She tried not to look at Edison and smack him in the face. This was all Edison's idea. It was Edison who arranged this meeting. He secretly copied Jared's number from Shellie's phonebook and communicated with Jared.. Shellie nearly died earlier when she saw Jared.
“I’m sorry, Shellie but I cannot accept that answer.” Ronnie frowned.
“Back in college, I had this favorite professor in Philippine Literature...” Shellie said, as if talking to herself.
“Don’t divert the conversation, Shellie.” Ronnie's eyebrows were now rising.
“I’m trying to explain why I don’t know why I like your best friend, Ronnie...” Shellie cleared her throat nervously.
“My favorite professor... he was unconventional. He would go in the classroom and would simply say, “Write something” and then he would leave the room and return when it’s 5 minutes from dismissal time already. There was a time when he came in and just gave us a piece of chalk and told us to write anything on the blackboard. Anyway, one day, he came in and asked the class, “Who here has a girlfriend?” There were only like 6 guys in the classroom and only 2 raised their hands. He asked the first one, “Why do you love your girlfriend?” The guy smirked – he was only an irregular student, we were a block section, I don’t even remember his name already... - and said, “Who said that I love her?” Of course, everybody laughed. Such honesty, huh?" Shellie paused and smirked.
She then continued with, "The professor then turned to the other one - he was our friend and his girlfriend is our classmate and friend, too – and asked him “Why do you love your girlfriend?” He replied, shyly and almost a mumble, “I don’t know...” Our professor smiled. He said, “Good answer.” He then took a look around the room, with the slightest smile in his face, and said, “That is love.” He then sat on his table and said “When you start knowing or having a firm definition of why you love someone, then that is not love anymore. You can say, “I love her because she’s kind...” what if there are days when she’s not kind, does that mean that you don’t love her anymore? Love has no boundaries...” Then he asked everybody to write anything and read it aloud. I remember writing “Burning fire. Cold evening. Sweet Misery.” anyway... that was it... That’s love. And I would like to think that is the reason why I couldn’t really answer why I really like your friend. All I know is that I like him more and more everyday...”
There was silence after Shellie's last word.
They could hear the car screeching, the coughing of the lady on the other table, a kid crying... and they could hear their souls and Shellie's heart pounding.
After a while, Ronnie took off his eyeglasses and wiped the lenses with his handkerchief. He wore it again and looked at Shellie's eyes once more. Her eyes now seemed more relax... to the point of serenity. He sort of envied the peace he is seeing in her now... the peace that can only be achieved when you’ve let go of something so intense.
“You said that you like her more and more everyday. You’ve known each other for quite some time now. Do you love my best friend already?” He had to keep on with the pretense of honesty since this is what he came here for.
Shellie smirked. The nervous in her eyes went back.
“I am taking my time..” another stupid answer.
“I’m not asking you if you want to love Jared. I’m asking you if you love Jared already...” was Ronnie's follow-up.
“Uhm... how do I say this? I am keeping my heart in arm’s length... this is a very difficult situation I am in. I love Jared... what is not there to love about him?! but i don’t want to rush things... because it may be too painful... reality says that I shouldn’t... in my dreams, I should... this is difficult. To love without any guarantees... yes, I am not loving unconditionally here... I am only human...
“I’m sorry... I can’t take this anymore. Please leave with the pretense that it’s just Ronnie and me here.” Shellie said with her head down.
“Okay. No problem, Shellie. Thank you.” Ronnie said and the three of them got up to leave.
Shellie grabbed a cigarette and lighted it with her hand trembling furiously. Edison took the lighter from her and lighted the cigarette for her as well. He then took Shellie's hand and just held it.
Shellie just stared at the two strangers and the one carrying her heart walk away. Then, she’s not sure if it really happened. It may be her stupid heart seeing things again. Jared looked back, met her in the eye and smiled. :)
“Okay... uhm... I will pretend that it’s just you and me here... let’s both pretend that there’s nobody around. Just you and me - talking eye to eye...” Shellie finally gave in to Ronnie's bickering.
Ronnie looked around for a moment. Looked at his best friend’s eyes... talked with their souls. He looked at Edison, another friend and the three faces of strangers that they only met that day. Then, he looked at Shellie's eyes, another stranger that he wants to know deeper.
“Okay. Consider them gone.” Ronnie said after a while. Looking straight into Shellie's eyes, he blurted the awfully raw question that could possibly rip Shellie's heart. “Do you like my best friend?” so raw and intense, filled with honesty and straightforwardness.
Shellie nearly choked. She turned from pale white to red. She blushes easily. That has always been one of her problems. Even if a stranger would ask her the time, she would blush while saying the time. She gets nervous easily.
After taking a deep breath, she looked Ronnie in the eye and said, “Yes. Very much.”
Ronnie prevented himself from looking at his best friend’s eyes or at anyone for that matter. It was just he and Shellie. There’s nobody else around. The people surrounding them prevented from gasping or reacting as well. It was a breakthrough for Shellie. They all looked at the best friend though and they saw him looking at his shoe and kicking invisible dust.
Ronnie was on fire. He uttered the next question.
The ever-short question that can come with so many answers. “Why?”
shellie is sweating now. She doesn’t know how long she can ignore the fact that they may be staring at her. She’s torn between wanting to see Jared's reaction and being swallowed by sweet earth that moment. This wasn’t how she wanted it to be. She wanted it to be Jared's eyes that she’s looking in to when she answers the question. But she can’t.
“I dunno...” such stupid answer but it was all that Shellie could think of at that time, if she was thinking at all. It seemed that Shellie was letting her heart speak without the help of her mind.
“That’s not an answer...” Shellie could hear Edison whisper. She tried not to look at Edison and smack him in the face. This was all Edison's idea. It was Edison who arranged this meeting. He secretly copied Jared's number from Shellie's phonebook and communicated with Jared.. Shellie nearly died earlier when she saw Jared.
“I’m sorry, Shellie but I cannot accept that answer.” Ronnie frowned.
“Back in college, I had this favorite professor in Philippine Literature...” Shellie said, as if talking to herself.
“Don’t divert the conversation, Shellie.” Ronnie's eyebrows were now rising.
“I’m trying to explain why I don’t know why I like your best friend, Ronnie...” Shellie cleared her throat nervously.
“My favorite professor... he was unconventional. He would go in the classroom and would simply say, “Write something” and then he would leave the room and return when it’s 5 minutes from dismissal time already. There was a time when he came in and just gave us a piece of chalk and told us to write anything on the blackboard. Anyway, one day, he came in and asked the class, “Who here has a girlfriend?” There were only like 6 guys in the classroom and only 2 raised their hands. He asked the first one, “Why do you love your girlfriend?” The guy smirked – he was only an irregular student, we were a block section, I don’t even remember his name already... - and said, “Who said that I love her?” Of course, everybody laughed. Such honesty, huh?" Shellie paused and smirked.
She then continued with, "The professor then turned to the other one - he was our friend and his girlfriend is our classmate and friend, too – and asked him “Why do you love your girlfriend?” He replied, shyly and almost a mumble, “I don’t know...” Our professor smiled. He said, “Good answer.” He then took a look around the room, with the slightest smile in his face, and said, “That is love.” He then sat on his table and said “When you start knowing or having a firm definition of why you love someone, then that is not love anymore. You can say, “I love her because she’s kind...” what if there are days when she’s not kind, does that mean that you don’t love her anymore? Love has no boundaries...” Then he asked everybody to write anything and read it aloud. I remember writing “Burning fire. Cold evening. Sweet Misery.” anyway... that was it... That’s love. And I would like to think that is the reason why I couldn’t really answer why I really like your friend. All I know is that I like him more and more everyday...”
There was silence after Shellie's last word.
They could hear the car screeching, the coughing of the lady on the other table, a kid crying... and they could hear their souls and Shellie's heart pounding.
After a while, Ronnie took off his eyeglasses and wiped the lenses with his handkerchief. He wore it again and looked at Shellie's eyes once more. Her eyes now seemed more relax... to the point of serenity. He sort of envied the peace he is seeing in her now... the peace that can only be achieved when you’ve let go of something so intense.
“You said that you like her more and more everyday. You’ve known each other for quite some time now. Do you love my best friend already?” He had to keep on with the pretense of honesty since this is what he came here for.
Shellie smirked. The nervous in her eyes went back.
“I am taking my time..” another stupid answer.
“I’m not asking you if you want to love Jared. I’m asking you if you love Jared already...” was Ronnie's follow-up.
“Uhm... how do I say this? I am keeping my heart in arm’s length... this is a very difficult situation I am in. I love Jared... what is not there to love about him?! but i don’t want to rush things... because it may be too painful... reality says that I shouldn’t... in my dreams, I should... this is difficult. To love without any guarantees... yes, I am not loving unconditionally here... I am only human...
“I’m sorry... I can’t take this anymore. Please leave with the pretense that it’s just Ronnie and me here.” Shellie said with her head down.
“Okay. No problem, Shellie. Thank you.” Ronnie said and the three of them got up to leave.
Shellie grabbed a cigarette and lighted it with her hand trembling furiously. Edison took the lighter from her and lighted the cigarette for her as well. He then took Shellie's hand and just held it.
Shellie just stared at the two strangers and the one carrying her heart walk away. Then, she’s not sure if it really happened. It may be her stupid heart seeing things again. Jared looked back, met her in the eye and smiled. :)
Friday, November 13, 2015
don't let me fall...
Underneath the moon, underneath the stars
Here's a little heart for you
Up above the world, up above it all
Here's a hand to hold on to
But if I should break, if I should fall away
What am I to do?
I need someone to take a little of the weight
Or I'll fall through
You're just the one that I've been waiting for
I'll give you all that I have to give and more
But don't let me fall
Take a little time, walk a little line
Get the balance right
Give a little love, gimme just enough
So that I can hang on tight
We will be alright, I'll be by your side
I won't let you down
But I gotta know no matter how things go
That you will be alright
You're just the one that I've been waiting for
I'll give you all that I have to give and more
But don't let me fall, don't let me fall
Underneath the moon, underneath the stars
Here's a little heart for you
Up above the world, up above it all
Here's a hand to hold on to
You're just the one that I've been waiting for
I'll give you all that I have to give and more
But don't let me fall
You'll be the one that I'll love forever more
I'll be here holding you high above it all
Here's a little heart for you
Up above the world, up above it all
Here's a hand to hold on to
But if I should break, if I should fall away
What am I to do?
I need someone to take a little of the weight
Or I'll fall through
You're just the one that I've been waiting for
I'll give you all that I have to give and more
But don't let me fall
Take a little time, walk a little line
Get the balance right
Give a little love, gimme just enough
So that I can hang on tight
We will be alright, I'll be by your side
I won't let you down
But I gotta know no matter how things go
That you will be alright
You're just the one that I've been waiting for
I'll give you all that I have to give and more
But don't let me fall, don't let me fall
Underneath the moon, underneath the stars
Here's a little heart for you
Up above the world, up above it all
Here's a hand to hold on to
You're just the one that I've been waiting for
I'll give you all that I have to give and more
But don't let me fall
You'll be the one that I'll love forever more
I'll be here holding you high above it all
tpos ako pa ngayon pafall?! ikaw jan pafall tpos floor lang pala magcatch sakin! hahaaaay... whatev! atleast may oras ka pa makapag isip isip gang wala pa ko pinas ehehehe if ever u will flake out on me... paki inform ako asap pra kaya ko magdettach from you :)
you still have 32 days hehehe mag isip isip ka na maigi oks?!? :)
Sunday, November 8, 2015
brighter than the rays of the sun
my day was gloomy and a bit heavy this morning... 
until i got these flowers! ayiee
hahaha pacute ako ammpf?! kebs!
anyway i felt loved today ayieee...
nahappy ako hehe... thanks kid for always making my day brighter than the rays of the sun ayieee... i am not asking God for too much.. but i think He became too much generous for giving me you! umaalden noh? God gave me you?! hahaha anyway twas really nice of you to even think abt giving sumthn and for appreciating my kindness kahit ndi ko naman nafeel na naging kind ako sayo hahaha... i am happy today ❤️ and it's all because of you! huwaaaw!
aldubpamore hahaha ayiee mwaaah!! o cia late na.. gonna grab some sleep!! salamat ulet mwaaahugggss 100x
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