Anticipating vs Expecting

what's the difference between anticipating and expecting??? dumdumdum 

“Okay... uhm... I will pretend that it’s just you and me here... let’s both pretend that there’s nobody around. Just you and me - talking eye to eye...” Shellie finally gave in to Ronnie's bickering.

Ronnie looked around for a moment. Looked at his best friend’s eyes... talked with their souls. He looked at Edison, another friend and the three faces of strangers that they only met that day. Then, he looked at Shellie's eyes, another stranger that he wants to know deeper.

“Okay. Consider them gone.” Ronnie said after a while. Looking straight into Shellie's eyes, he blurted the awfully raw question that could possibly rip Shellie's heart. “Do you like my best friend?” so raw and intense, filled with honesty and straightforwardness.

Shellie nearly choked. She turned from pale white to red. She blushes easily. That has always been one of her problems. Even if a stranger would ask her the time, she would blush while saying the time. She gets nervous easily.

After taking a deep breath, she looked Ronnie in the eye and said, “Yes. Very much.”

Ronnie prevented himself from looking at his best friend’s eyes or at anyone for that matter. It was just he and Shellie. There’s nobody else around. The people surrounding them prevented from gasping or reacting as well. It was a breakthrough for Shellie. They all looked at the best friend though and they saw him looking at his shoe and kicking invisible dust.

Ronnie was on fire. He uttered the next question. 
The ever-short question that can come with so many answers. “Why?”

shellie is sweating now. She doesn’t know how long she can ignore the fact that they may be staring at her. She’s torn between wanting to see Jared's reaction and being swallowed by sweet earth that moment. This wasn’t how she wanted it to be. She wanted it to be Jared's eyes that she’s looking in to when she answers the question. But she can’t.

“I dunno...” such stupid answer but it was all that Shellie could think of at that time, if she was thinking at all. It seemed that Shellie was letting her heart speak without the help of her mind. 

“That’s not an answer...” Shellie could hear Edison whisper. She tried not to look at Edison and smack him in the face. This was all Edison's idea. It was Edison who arranged this meeting. He secretly copied Jared's number from Shellie's phonebook and communicated with Jared.. Shellie nearly died earlier when she saw Jared.

“I’m sorry, Shellie but I cannot accept that answer.” Ronnie frowned.

“Back in college, I had this favorite professor in Philippine Literature...” Shellie said, as if talking to herself.

“Don’t divert the conversation, Shellie.” Ronnie's eyebrows were now rising.

“I’m trying to explain why I don’t know why I like your best friend, Ronnie...” Shellie cleared her throat nervously.

“My favorite professor... he was unconventional. He would go in the classroom and would simply say, “Write something” and then he would leave the room and return when it’s 5 minutes from dismissal time already. There was a time when he came in and just gave us a piece of chalk and told us to write anything on the blackboard. Anyway, one day, he came in and asked the class, “Who here has a girlfriend?” There were only like 6 guys in the classroom and only 2 raised their hands. He asked the first one, “Why do you love your girlfriend?” The guy smirked – he was only an irregular student, we were a block section, I don’t even remember his name already... - and said, “Who said that I love her?” Of course, everybody laughed. Such honesty, huh?" Shellie paused and smirked.

She then continued with, "The professor then turned to the other one - he was our friend and his girlfriend is our classmate and friend, too – and asked him “Why do you love your girlfriend?” He replied, shyly and almost a mumble, “I don’t know...” Our professor smiled. He said, “Good answer.” He then took a look around the room, with the slightest smile in his face, and said, “That is love.” He then sat on his table and said “When you start knowing or having a firm definition of why you love someone, then that is not love anymore. You can say, “I love her because she’s kind...” what if there are days when she’s not kind, does that mean that you don’t love her anymore? Love has no boundaries...” Then he asked everybody to write anything and read it aloud. I remember writing “Burning fire. Cold evening. Sweet Misery.” anyway... that was it... That’s love. And I would like to think that is the reason why I couldn’t really answer why I really like your friend. All I know is that I like him more and more everyday...”

There was silence after Shellie's last word. 
They could hear the car screeching, the coughing of the lady on the other table, a kid crying... and they could hear their souls and Shellie's heart pounding.

After a while, Ronnie took off his eyeglasses and wiped the lenses with his handkerchief. He wore it again and looked at Shellie's eyes once more. Her eyes now seemed more relax... to the point of serenity. He sort of envied the peace he is seeing in her now... the peace that can only be achieved when you’ve let go of something so intense.

“You said that you like her more and more everyday. You’ve known each other for quite some time now. Do you love my best friend already?” He had to keep on with the pretense of honesty since this is what he came here for.

Shellie smirked. The nervous in her eyes went back. 

“I am taking my time..” another stupid answer. 

“I’m not asking you if you want to love Jared. I’m asking you if you love Jared already...” was Ronnie's follow-up.

“Uhm... how do I say this? I am keeping my heart in arm’s length... this is a very difficult situation I am in. I love Jared... what is not there to love about him?! but i don’t want to rush things... because it may be too painful... reality says that I shouldn’t... in my dreams, I should... this is difficult. To love without any guarantees... yes, I am not loving unconditionally here... I am only human... 

“I’m sorry... I can’t take this anymore. Please leave with the pretense that it’s just Ronnie and me here.” Shellie said with her head down.

“Okay. No problem, Shellie. Thank you.” Ronnie said and the three of them got up to leave.

Shellie grabbed a cigarette and lighted it with her hand trembling furiously. Edison took the lighter from her and lighted the cigarette for her as well. He then took Shellie's hand and just held it. 

Shellie just stared at the two strangers and the one carrying her heart walk away. Then, she’s not sure if it really happened. It may be her stupid heart seeing things again. Jared looked back, met her in the eye and smiled.  :)